What Happens When Nobody's There
by Biddett da Pigeon Stalker
Summary: A pathetic first attempt at humor! Oh well, read it it anyway. Me and a friend go visit Hogwarts, and nobody's there....


Hullo! ^.^ I've found a little spare time to do this one. It's not gunna be much tho. A pathetic attempt at humour. I should really put an "OPEN IF YOU DARE" thing on it, but o well. Its based on a convo I had with a friend of mine. So yeh.  
  
Me and a friend + A late night = overstretched imaginations! lol, just warnin ya! This isn't going to be much, as I sed b4. Yes! I don't own anything related to Harry Potter.  
  
I pretty much had this one written out for me! But I have had to change a bit Well, enjoy anyway!  
  
*~Biddett da Pigeon Stalker~* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *Biddett and Steph are wandering through a damp rocky outcrop*  
  
Steph: Uh, Biddett, can you tell me why we are here again?  
  
Biddett: Geez, I dunno! It's a fanfic! What did you expect? We just walk around and something will happen!  
  
Steph: How exactly did we get here..?  
  
Biddett: Oh, god! How the hell do I know? As I said before, it's a bloody fanfic! Weird stuff happens! Get with da flow!  
  
Steph: Huuhh.sheesh.we've been in this fanfic for seconds and I feel exhausted!  
  
Biddett: Most probably 'cos we've been here for days on end!  
  
Steph: Huh? What did I just tell you?!  
  
Biddett: *mumbles* oi..Never mind your feeble lil' brain, Steph.  
  
Steph: What did you just say?!?!  
  
Biddett: Nufin.*looks around*  
  
Steph: Ahh.goodnight.*faints*  
  
Biddett: Yay! Steph fainted! Yaaaaaaay! ^.^  
  
*it begins to rain*  
  
Biddett: Erp! Where's shelter when ya need one? *looks around* *spots a cave* That'll do! *runs into cave*  
  
Biddett: *sits down out of the wetness* Phew. *watches Steph lying on the ground* Hahah! I'm in a nice warm cave!!  
  
*A growl is heard behind Biddett* Biddett: Ooo, shit! *squeaks* Help!  
  
Steph: *Is still*  
  
Biddett: *yells at Steph* Great help you are!!  
  
*A BIG dragon appears behind Biddett*  
  
Biddett: OH! LOOKIE! A DRAGON!!! ...Wait a sec; you're Norbert, Aren't you?! O.O  
  
Norbert: *Roars*  
  
Biddett: HEEEEEEELP!!! *runs between Norbert's legs further into the cave*  
  
Steph: *wakes up*Wha.?  
  
Biddett: *screams from within cave*  
  
Norbert: *Roars* (A/N Get used to Norbert roaring, I think that's about all he does!! XP) *Norbert notices Steph*  
  
Steph: *Steph Notices Norbert*  
  
Norbert: *Roars*  
  
Steph: Ooo! Pizza! I have boxes of pizza!  
  
Norbert: *bares teeth, snatched pizza, and gobbles it up*  
  
(Biddett: Hey, am I even in this anymore???  
  
Steph: Yeah, you're in the cave. Feel free to bring yourself out at any time, and eat pizza with us.)  
  
Norbert: *is sitting next to Steph, eating pizza* ^.^  
  
Biddett: *comes out of cave, dragging Norbert's treasure behind* Shhh!  
  
Steph: *to Norbert* We're having a party! *Winks at Biddett behind Norbert's back*  
  
Biddett: *winks back, and puts treasure on a plane, then comes over and eats pizza with Steph and Norbert*  
  
Steph: Good pizza huh, Biddett?  
  
Biddett: Yup!  
  
Norbert: *goes into cave to check on treasure*  
  
Biddett: C'mon, this is our cue! Let's go! *runs to catch plane while Norbert is heard roaring angrily*  
  
Steph: *hops onto plane, while plane takes off*  
  
Biddett: *after a while* Now where to?  
  
Steph: Ooo! Let's go to space!  
  
Biddett: Um, but the plane can't fly to space. It's not a rocket!  
  
Steph: Well.I dunno! What's YOUR suggestion?  
  
Biddett: Hmmm.*thinks* Let's go to the Final Fantasy world! *laughs* Like you'd know anything there.  
  
Steph: Nup. Not a thing.  
  
Biddett: How about the Harry Potter world?  
  
Steph: Sure!  
  
Biddett: Okay! Well, here we are- at Hogwarts! *opens door and gestures for Steph to go first*  
  
Steph: *walks out*  
  
Biddett: *follows* So, where to now?  
  
Steph: Hm, how about the Great Hall?  
  
Biddett: Okay! I just need to find it!  
  
Steph: It's to the right -----  
  
Biddett: I wonder if anybody's in? *opens doors* Oh yeah, the school year hasn't started yet it's the 23rd of August..well for them anyway!:P  
  
Steph: True.  
  
Biddett: Hm.Then we could get up to some mischief.~.^  
  
Steph: With ya.  
  
Biddett: So.where and what? I'm all out of ideas.  
  
Steph: Hmmm.*thinks* Let's go to the North Tower, we can *cough cough* tell our fortunes *cough*  
  
Biddett: Sounds good.*grins evilly*  
  
Biddett and Steph: *treks upstairs*  
  
Steph: Surprisingly, we now our way around!  
  
Biddett: Well, we read the books, isn't that good enough? *glares at a portrait* Yeah, and you can shut your face too!!  
  
Biddett: Hey, after this, do you wanna go take a look-see at the Forbidden Forest?  
  
Steph: Sure  
  
Biddett: Take a look at all the creatures.  
  
Steph: Maybe we can see Grawp.  
  
Biddett.  
  
Biddett: That won't be too hard!  
  
Steph: *laughs*  
  
Biddett and Steph: *climbs to the top of North Tower*  
  
Biddett: So now what?  
  
Steph: Trash the place! *grabs some teapots and throws them*  
  
Biddett: YEEEAAAAH!!!  
  
Steph: Heheheh.  
  
Biddett: *grabs Divination textbooks* DIE, TEXTBOOKS, DIIIIEEEE!!!  
  
Steph: Bwahahahah!!  
  
Biddett: Hey, I wonder if Fawkes is still here?  
  
Steph: *grabs crystal balls and throws them out the window*  
  
Biddett: Meh. *throws tea leaves out to follow the crystal balls*  
  
Biddett: *looks around* Oookay, I think that's trashed enough. What do you think?  
  
Steph: Yhup.  
  
Biddett: Okay! So we're going to the Forbidden Forest!  
  
Steph: Let's go see Fawkes, shall we first?  
  
Biddett: Okay. But what if Dumbledore's there?  
  
Biddett: But then again, he might not be.  
  
Steph: We say hello of course.  
  
Biddett: Okay!  
  
Steph: *heads off to the 2nd floor office*  
  
Biddett: Hey! Wait up!! *follows*.But what's the password?  
  
Steph: I dunno, we'll try and guess I suppose.  
  
Biddett: Hmm.Fuzz Buzz?  
  
..*nothing* Biddett: Damn!  
  
Steph: Fizzing Whizzbees?.....nothing  
  
Biddett: That was last year's one.  
  
Steph: Acid Pops?  
  
....*the gargoyle moves*  
  
Biddett: Woo-hoo! Good guess! *walks up stairs at a quick pace, but gets to the door and hesitates*  
  
Biddett: You go first.  
  
Steph: Kay. *walks in* OOOOOHH! BIDDETT, COME IN!!  
  
Biddett: *rushes in* What?  
  
Steph: Lookie! Fawkes!  
  
Biddett: Wow!  
  
Steph: *walks over to Fawkes and pets his head*  
  
Biddett: !!!!!! *watches as Fawkes bursts into flames*  
  
Steph:!!!!! Ah! *jumps back*  
  
Biddett: Ack, you okay?!  
  
Steph: Yeah.Look at the ashes, Biddett!  
  
Biddett: *comes over and sees baby Fawkes* Awwww!! How cuuute!  
  
Steph: Awwwww!  
  
Biddett: *in a babyish voice* Hullo there, lil' cutie!  
  
Biddett: *looks around* It seems Dumbledore's not in.  
  
Steph: You wanna go visit Dobby?  
  
Biddett: Okay!  
  
Biddett and Steph: *leave and go to the kitchens*  
  
Biddett: *opens kitchen door* Huh. How strange! Look, no elves, but the food's been set out for us!!  
  
Steph: Whaaat?  
  
Biddett: Meheheh! *goes over and begins to eat*  
  
Steph: Ooooh!  
  
Biddett: Ooooh, what? *looks up startled*  
  
Steph: PIZZA!! I LOVE PIZZA!!!  
  
Biddett: Yeah, I think that's just a TINY bit obvious, don't you?  
  
Steph: *begins to eat gleefully*  
  
Biddett: *peers outside to see the Forbidden Forest*  
  
Biddett: !!!!!*drops food on floor* OH, CRAAAAP!!  
  
Steph: What?  
  
Biddett: *points out window* NORBERT'S BACK!  
  
Steph: AIIIEEE!! NORBERT'S OUTSIDE!!  
  
Biddett: RUN!...somewhere!  
  
Steph: Where IS the treasure?  
  
Biddett: Last I saw, it was on the plane with is, which means it's somewhere in Hogwarts so Norbert's gonna take over Hogwarts!  
  
Biddett: BUM-BUM-BUUUUMMM! (A/N lol, doncha hate it when people do that? XD)  
  
Steph: Uh oh! Dumbledore is NOT going to like this!  
  
Biddett: I noticed! But where's Harry when ya need him??  
  
Steph: We have to hide!! Where should we go??  
  
Biddett: The Gryffindor common room? I dunno! *starts to panic* The basement where the Philosopher's Stone was kept???  
  
Biddett: Or maybe we can get Grawp to bash him or something??  
  
Steph: I dunno, I don't think he'd understand.  
  
Biddett: *watches outside as Grawp nears Norbert, Norbert lashes out at him, and Grawp hits him on the head, knocking Norbert unconscious*  
  
Biddett: There we go, problem solved.  
  
Steph: Not hard.  
  
Biddett: Norbert's only unconscious though-he'll wake up sooner or later. But meanwhile, we need to give him all his gold back! Or we could just give him counterfeit gold and keep it all to ourselves!!  
  
Steph: Hmm.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sorry for ending it here folks (long, huh?), that's all we got up to!! Flame all you want, I'm not good at WRITING humour, I know that much!!:P Maybe someone can tell me how.? lol, no worries. OH YESS!!  
  
God bless teacher strikes!! I have one tomorrow! (Today is 16-9-03) So I'll probably get around to putting the beginnings to some fics I have been DYING to write!.  
  
Well, den! Buh-bi 4 now!!  
  
*~Biddett da Pigeon Stalker~* 


End file.
